My school's ex-mascot is a man who dresses up in hollywood style Native-American garb (face paint, head dresses, etc) that does a dance that is supposedly in "honor" of the Illini culture.

There are so many people on campus who actively support the chief and don't even realize, or rather, don't want to accept the fact that their support of a mascot like that supports racist and ignorant stereotypes of Native-Americans, as well as mocks the Illini who were wiped out by colonials.

Everywhere  I go I see someone with a T-shirt that says "CHIEF" or has a cartoonish portrait of the chief on the front, and it's gross. It's offensive, it's sick.

You know what that's like? That's like if the school decided to use a short, fat Mexican wearing a colorful poncho, a big sombrero, and holding two guns in his hands for the mascot. That's like if the school decided to use a ninja as a mascot. It's stereotypical, disrespectful, and just plain disgusting.  Shameful.

I'm sick of seeing these shirts and I wish the i-Resist program, which is the organization on campus which campaigns against continuing to use the image of the chief on t-shirts, and allowing the pro-chief organization to perform at games using the chief, had as much support as the pro-chief organization. It's so sad, and honestly the more and more  I think about it, I realize how fucking ignorant and narrow-minded this school really is. I feel more and more like  I shouldn't be here at all, and it isn't just about the chief. There are a lot of things. Most people I know are conservatives but they're the majority in this school and it's hard to meet someone who isn't from the suburbs or small towns who have experienced similar things as I have, and who understand my liberal train of thought.

Liberalism is not just a phase people go through in college, and I wish people would stop referring to it as such. Yes, it is idealistic, but all politics are idealistic - otherwise how would any movements begin without some sort of idealism? Please, get over yourself if you believe that idealism or liberalism is childish and a college phase.

It isn't. If you're liberal, be proud of it. Please.

I'm so sick of these ignorant fucks.

And god damnit, stop wearing CHIEF.

lol After having not too long ago posted a super depressing post, I come to you with a recommendation for an online comic, Goodbye Chains, that I've been following for quite some time.

It features a gay communist and a tortured half-Mexican outlaw. The two strike up an unlikely partnership that...possibly leads to more?

Anyway, I totally love the comic. I usually try not to follow online comics because it can be very disappointing when authors and illustrators give up halfway through and end them prematurely, but this one has been going strong and the creators don't seem at all ready to stop. And that makes me happy.

Plus, the comic is as humorous as it can be serious. So... click here to read it online or here if you'd prefer to download it in pdf format. I recommend reading it online just for the experience, plus the site is really neat and you can read up more about the characters/plot.

Hey guys,

just making a quick LJ post since my mom bought us some time at the cyber cafe at our resort. Cancun is going great, except I got super sunburned yesterday when we swam with the dolphins. My skin is super sensitive - and we just got back from the resort beach, so my skin, despite all my efforts to stay in the shade and slather myself in sunblock, is just slightly more sunburnt. xD

I really really want to bring you here with me, Kendra. We would have so much fun together. If we come again next year, maybe your mom would be willing to pay for your ticket to meet us at the airport or something. ;-;

There are lots of pretty things to buy at Playa del Carmen, and I fell in love with these gorgeous round lamps made with dried melons. And all the pretty jewelry T_T

I love you and miss you all. I come home Friday afternoon and I can't wait to tell you about my vacation. I hope you guys are even reading these entries so you know that. :( <3

Oh Michael...

I've been an incredibly huge fan of Michael Jackson ever since I was a tiny little girl. I have very vivid memories of telling my uncle that one day I would marry Michael Jackson, and him laughing at me.

I don't really know what to say. The real sadness set in just a while ago when I was watching E!'s coverage on his death. I was sad when my mom texted, but it wasn't until they showed pictures of him rehearsing for his up and coming tour that it really hit me hard. In those pictures guys, ugh, he looked so..focused, I don't know how else to explain it. Focused and just....there. Alive.

I've been listening to my favorite Michael Jackson songs for a while and the sadness is..just, really really deep. I know he wasn't all right in the head over the last few years but that doesn't make him any less of a legend, of a great performer, the best. The most inspiring.

Would it be strange, though, if I said in a way I'm glad he's passed now? I feel like he's been through so much over the course of his life, and his sickness, both mental and physical, also made his life so much more difficult. Hard enough to be a celebrity in this country. Even harder when you're a global celebrity, being sued, possibly struggling with desires that don't sit well with society and the law and your family's morals, and then losing everything. Everything.

In a way, I'm relieved for him... that it's over, his physical life. But he'll always be alive - the music will never be forgotten. Not in my family. Not in the families of millions of fans.

I love you Michael. You're the best, and always will be. Rest in peace.



Friday morning (tomorrow) I am leaving for Mexico and will be gone until next Friday. Vacation~ I won't be able to text because it'll cost money. Receiving texts will also cost me money, so if possible try not to text me until Friday evening. If it's important, though, please go ahead and text me. ^^ Just a few cents at any rate.

I love you guys. I hope I come back rejuvenated so that I can be online for you all more than I have been. I miss you guys.

See you in a week.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090618/ap_on_re_us/us_parking_lot_noose_attack



why?

more and more of these kinds of attacks against non-whites are being reported. it scares me, you know? I fear for my family every time I hear about things like this. I fear for the country. There was a report a couple days ago about how white supremacist groups have grown since the election of Obama.

Couple that with having all of this shit shoved in our faces about North Korea and you have me, stressed out and trying not to think about those things but failing horribly.

I just don't understand it. Nowadays I find myself thinking, will I witness racial violence on a mass scale while I'm still alive on this earth? Will the world be caught up in nuclear chaos before I've even turned 21?


my head hurts right now. the news is so depressing, I can't stand it anymore. it makes me really hate the world we live in.

we really all monsters, to the earth and to each other.

I finally finished my second short story for my writing class, due today, in like, thirty minutes. XD


Octopus balls and the old Mother city.




( Osaka )

So, this girl from Korean, Maria, had been nothing but moody and silent for almost two weeks right. She wouldn't talk to me (us, Jon) and when I asked her what was wrong she answered with attitude, even though it had nothing to do with me, so eventually I left her alone and now I have no urge to hang around her anymore or talk to her. So she comes in today all suddenly bright and shiny and says "It's gonna be 50 degrees tomorrow ^-^" and what did I do?

I studied. I didn't look up. :/

Apart from the fact that I didn't sleep last, so I was already irritable to begin with, I'm just still so offended by her moodiness that it's overwhelming. Now, this is coming from someone who has her own spells of moodiness. Before she had hers, I had mine. For three days. And over the course of those three days, I responded to all the text messages she sent and told her I hadn't been sleeping and that i would be okay soon so bear with me. So then it passed and I made it known. She's spent almost two weeks being a moody bitch so fuck it lol. I'm just gonna let myself warm up to her again at my own pace.


>:

Damnit.

I'm off to creative writing class.. then english... then meeting with group to prepare for the presentation for Thursday, and then back home to sleep and wake up and stay up all night writing.

And speaking of writing.

Louise, my next short story is due this Thursday so if you're around Thursday night or this weekend just to let you know, it'll be up if you're interested in reading.

And that goes for everyone on my flist - whoever may still be reading.

Byebye.

It is a gorgeous day outside today. So gorgeous that I have my window open all the way, my blinds raised, and sitting here watching the outside world without snow, without freezing cold temperatures, just clear beautiful sun, I feel a little high.

I wish the weather would stay like this forever. Ugh, I am so happy right now. *breathes in*


I've finished proofing/reviewing/commenting on three of the four stories in the first packet of stories from the class we'll be discussing in workshop tomorrow. The last one I've been holding off because I'm lazy and it's 12 pages and I skimmed some of it to find it's a story about a young girl and a young guy in a heated moment of passion, the young girl refusing to submit to the young guy's desire for her to be "his girl". And it just doesn't interest me much. D: Still, I will do that eventually. Then i've got to start reading at least the first couple of chapters in the new book I'm doing for English - Women Writers of the Caribbean.

Have I mentioned that I'm really satisfied with the classes I'm taking this semester? Well, mostly satisfied. Sitting through the astronomy lecture is just brutal, I seem to have no interest in the subject but as long as i keep up with the homework assignments and observing states and stuff it should be an easy A. @_@ But my English classes are great, the books we're reading are great, and my writing class is wonderful. AGH, THE WEATHER IS SO FUCKING NICE TODAY.

._.
( American Literature )



P.S. to roommate: Hello. When I am commenting about how nice the weather is, please do not assume that I am for some reason yearning to be outside and offer a stupid suggestion like, "So then go outside." when I wasn't even asking for suggestions. -.- When I comment, the weather is nice, you should say, yes I agree or no, I disagree and then state why. You do not have to offer me a suggestion for everything I say all the time, it is annoying and kind of insulting in a way and then I have to listen to you respond, "It was just a suggestion" all hurt I'm the bad guy here. Please.

God, i just hate people suggesting to me how to live my life when I didn't even ask for suggestions. Now if I say, hey, the weather is nice, you think I should go do my homework outside? Then you can say, why yes, go outside then.


-.-

bullying, snuff films, skirting the edge of danger

 

 

( 13 7 3 )

 

 

assignment due for creative writing class tomorrow:

write a description of a character in 2nd person. 200 - 300 words.

written in the pov of my character Jun. (June, possibly)

( Jun(e) )

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I feel awful. It's strange. I feel this heavy sadness - aching in my chest, nausea... and it started....I don't know. Yesterday I guess, last night, when I couldn't finish my schedule because i don't know what I should be doing that wont make me want to kill myself halfway through the semester. And today... I don't know. I started doubting my own decision to switch majors. It was the worst feeling. IS the worst feeling. Like, I've failed. I can't even type in long sentences because everything coming to my brain is coming in fragments...

I just want to cry. I want to be good at something. Something worthwhile.

So with all this going through my mind all day, it only took the Heechul/Sungmin kiss to bring me all the way down. Isn't that so pathetic? It's not the kiss itself because I enjoyed it. But someone posted about it in the SJ comm and there were so many negative comments that just pissed me off to no end. And that's fucking shitty because I shouldn't let myself be pulled down by fandom shit, but I guess I just felt like there's not one thing I can immerse myself in to get my mind off of everything else that's making my head and chest hurt without some fucking idiots ruining it for me because they can't see past Shichul/Shihan and Sungmin's image in super junior and i just.

why isn't this fun anymore? :( it's not fun when i try to be a part of it in an actual comm. i hate them.


tomorrow depending on when my mom leaves I might go pick up my books, but more likely I'll probably try to finish my schedule and then get up early monday and pick up my books when the bookstore opens so I don't have to suffer through a crowd -.-;

These assholes who "fixed" my laptop, I think, replaced my old harddrive with a shitty fucking harddrive.

my old harddrive was 120gbs. I'm having problems ALREADY again, and I checked and it says I have 111gbs -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

What. The. Fuck.

Nothing works either. AIM doesn't want to start up. Windows explorer keeps resetting. THE COMPUTER DOES NOT READ MY FUCKING CDs!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

I am so sick of this shit.

Heechul kissing Sungmin in Nanjin, pretty recent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gH7D8_coI0&fmt=18 (start it at 2:15 and keep watching. he attacks him.)


( and now the best )

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081214/ap_on_re_us/brothers_hate_crime

Read this and tell me it doesn't make you upset in some way. It makes me upset. It angers me. It scares me. More and more I am afraid for my family. For my friends.

This isn't right. This world that we live in right now is not. right.

o_o

I stayed up all night again and then slept and missed both of my classes lol. But it's not too bad, just gotta study Korean on my own.

On the bright side, I'm almost done with my essay.

On the down side (part 2), I may not be seeing you guys online for another day or so.

peace.

There is much to be done this week since I've been such a slacker lately. 8 paper due the 19th and I haven't even finished reading the first book. History paper. God I hate that class.

It's freezing today and also raining and I still have no jacket ;_; I have no clue where my umbrella went.

I guess today after I meet Soonmi I'll go to the undergrad library for a while and start reading the second book since it's gonna take me a while to analyze and whatnot. I considered taking my laptop but honestly I'd be too distracted if I did. Undergrad is my best choice for now.

Must not forget to meet advisor this week!!!!!!!!

OH GOD.

MIROTIC.


OH GOD.

OH GOD. JAEJOONG. AGAINST THE WALL. WRITHING.

OH GOD.


i think i just came ._.

I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. Then, copy and paste this into your journal so that your friends (including me) can harass you with three questions of their own.